Gaussian Blur

Untitleds - Andre Kertesz

Untitleds – Andre Kertesz

In my ham handed study of patterns – for both creative and personal curiosity – it’s interesting to look at the Gaussian curve of an event. The ingredients that cosmically align to create the inciting incident, the who-did-what during the rising action, the inevitable climax and then the acoustic decay of all the previous noise, where the chips fall and how it plays in to what’s next. [How many metaphors can I mix?!]

Granted, in life not everything has the bookend of exposition and rising action or the luxury of understanding the resolution. Chaos, departure, perspective, shifting intentions, distance… so many agents that make the bird-in-hand concept of “right now” actually the unconscious, but still writhing eelpout of existence. Sure – you’ve got the thing subdued now, but when it wakes up – it could try to eat you!

Wait, what are we talking about?

Ok, weird visual.

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spock

My boyfriend Einstein said “Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift.” He also said “A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.”

It’s hard not to force your desires in front of your eyes as you walk about, interact, forming your perspectives on events. Perhaps remaining present clears away our bias, if only just a hair, and allows “what is” to actually be “what is” to us as well..? Maybe.

A fiction professor told me once to never write about highly personal events until they were miles and miles away. We’re so close to what (we think) happened that we can’t deviate from facts for the sake of spinning an interesting tale. I find this to be completely true. I am only now able to make the story of my alien abduction in high school coherent and funny.

…  …  ..   .

Just kidding. Those guys were jerks.

Alien Abduction - Albert Alvarez

Alien Abduction – Albert Alvarez

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Lake of the Isles Fishing Expert

Lake of the Isles Fishing Expert

Fish stories. I met a fisher guy at Lake of the Isles a week or so back. I was there to read and get a sunburn in peace. He just really wanted someone to talk to. As I’m not really one to engage strange stranger men, I must have been in a weird mood, because he told me fish stories for over an hour. I’m not saying he wasn’t a strange stranger, but it was good to connect on a personal level with someone so far removed from my circles of influence. Humanizing. He bore his (serious) personal tragedies and low income inconviences as nonchalantly as his love of cheese burgers from Culvers.

Humbling. Especially when I am a self proclaimed wallower and I proclaim I was definitely wallowing that day. The random and fleeting human connection was enough to roundhouse kick my self pity in the jeans.

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It’s gorgeous outside. I’ve got sunburn already. I didn’t get the McKnight grant I needed to make a film – but my friend Rolf did so – no need to despair. If you do the dance and push the button long enough you’ll get your can of diet sparkling recognition.

I’m finally taking a vacation. To Detroit. To photo weirdness and experience the terrible beauty of annihilation. I love the chilling prophesy Jim Jarmusch made in “The Only Lovers Left Alive” that when the south burns Detroit will rise again and “bloom” because of it’s proximity to water. Foreboding.

The Hanging Gardens of Bri-abalon on the newly de-wintered porch. My resurrected home within a home.

The Hanging Gardens of Bri-abalon on the newly de-wintered porch. My resurrected home within a home.

It's been a wet summer. Storms roll across Lake of the Isles.

It’s been a wet summer. Storms roll across Lake of the Isles. I love how beautiful this place is in the summer.

Urban S'mores Enthusiast. No yard. No grill. Kitchen stove top problem solving.

Urban S’mores Enthusiast. No yard. No grill. Kitchen stove top problem solving.

 

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